Protection

I am now fully protected. Or, at least that's what my ADT installer said before he left. So, yay for protection.

My stress level increased threefold after becoming a homeowner. I'm sure there were several contributing factors for that like, oh, my husband being addicted to cocaine and alcohol and the fact that my bank account seemed to have a leak in it somewhere. But what I found is that as soon as you own a home, all you do is worry about that home when you're not at home. My home is located in an extremely good neighborhood. We have little to no crime, and no violent crimes. If I call our city police, someone is at my house in less than 3 minutes. Those're the perks of living in a town smaller than most shopping malls.

I have always had a massive amount of firepower within reach since the first time I moved out. The first piece of home protection I had was a 12-gauge Remington pump shotgun. It was a really bad idea to leave it out when I wasn't home. I lived in a terrible neighborhood and the last thing I wanted to do was arm the criminal that broke into my apartment while I wasn't home. I was lucky to get out of there before anything major happened. Unless you consider getting shot at on Thanksgiving while carrying a huge platter of deviled eggs 'major.' Because that did happen, and it sucked. And I was gone before Christmas.

I keep a Kimber .45 by my bed and there's a little 410 Snakecharmer in another part of the house. I have 2 gun safes that are smashed full of guns and that's where the other two go when I leave the house. If anybody breaks in my home while I'm there, I will not become a victim. Not only do I have the right equipment, but I have a lifetime of firearms training under my belt. I am not going to miss.

Many people keep dogs for security. I feel like it's wrong to train a dog for protection, because criminals in the 'big city' carry weapons that will easily dispatch your family pet/protector if they try to attack. I have 3 dogs: a 15 year old, 7 pound terrier that sleeps so hard you can shake her and she won't wake; an 11 year old Australian Shepherd who had laryngeal surgery and doesn't have a voice anymore but still gets on high alert when she hears something outside; a 3-year old double-merle Australian Shepherd who is as deaf as a stone but has a bark that can scare the shit out of just about anyone. If the two Aussies could work together, they'd be one complete burgler-foiling machine. But these dogs aren't meant to be protection, they're meant to be pets. That's why they live in the house and get better health care than I do. I pray that if anyone ever does happen to break into this house while I'm gone, the dogs will run and hide and save themselves from any potential harm.

Of course, the deaf Aussie has bitten my cousin's boyfriend's peter - through his jeans - and almost caused an ER visit, and also attacked the satellite installer, who had left his cordless drill behind and came back unannounced to retrieve it. Oops. But I still hope he runs with the other two.

The main thing about the guns, however, is that they're ineffective if you're not home. So I had the ADT people come out and give me an estimate. A few days later, my home phone quit working. I had to call AT&T to come out to repair it and said that someone had crossed the wires inside the box mounted on the side of the house. Like, it was intentional or something. I keep big padlocks on all 3 gates into my backyard so, short of jumping the fence, no one can get in. I thought the little snippy-snippy was a little strange, so when they came to install the alarm, I made sure they used the cellular uplink dealie just in case I get a smart thief who cuts the outside phone lines.

The hardest part about this whole situation is trying to come up with a 4-digit master code memorable enough for 2 people with horrible memories to remember it. We have to have a master code, and then I already programmed in 3 user codes: mine, The Boy's, and my parents'. But I just can't figure out 4 digits meaningful enough to us that we can remember it. Gah.

I have this horrible fear that I'm going to forget to set the alarm. I've lived so many years without one and I leave for work so exhausted in the mornings...Or that someone who has had an ADT system installed will break in and use the factory default master code, on the off-chance that I am too forgetful to come up with a different master code, which is my current dilemma! Does anybody else get Alarm Anxiety? If it's not a real thing, it should be.

Now...I just need to figure out how to get this stupid thing to quit chiming every fricking time I open the door to let my geriatric dogs outside!