(also, OMG, I just remembered NaNoWriMo. Shit.)
Okay. This may not be the most comfortable of subjects but, at the same time, sometimes I really like being conceited. Since I ragged on myself pretty harshly last time, it's time for some emotional redemption!
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
I'm going to be a little contradictory from last post, because I know you'll allow it. Just go with it.
I love my hair. It's thick and wavy. It's really long. It's a pretty natural blond color that bleaches out in the sun to make it lighter with even whiter natural highlights. And if that's not working, I *may* help it along a little!
Since my self-hating post of 2001, I've managed to learn some new tricks. I use Paul Mitchell shampoo which, believe it or not, actually does what it claims: It's made my hair's texture a bit smoother and stronger. If I use that shampoo and go to sleep with wet hair, I wake up with beautiful, soft curls. A little hair polish creme, and I'm usually good to go. If I straighten it, my hair appears thinner (not always a bad thing), and it looks a bit more shiny.
My hair is so long now that I can tuck it into my waistband. Sometimes I leave it long, sometimes I put it up in a messy up-do, or sometimes I style it into a 1940s style. Regardless of what I do, people look. People always - almost every time I meet someone for the first time - say something about it.
My students at school, as much as I hate those fuckers, always say nice stuff about my hair. They want to know if it's extensions. They want to know if they can touch it. They want to know if it's real. Strange, strange kids! But they're all black, Hispanic, or Asian, and none of them really 'get' white girl hair so they always want to touch it. I had a girl pet me one year and it was creepy. Now I just tell them 'sure, but make it snappy.' This year, I'll probably tell them I don't like to be touched and leave it at that.
The other thing I really like about myself are my eyes. Yeah, they're kind of big, but I've learned a few makeup tricks to help with that. The color really is very pretty and not a day goes by that someone doesn't say something about my eyes to me. Again, I think I have one student who doesn't have brown eyes - his are hazel - and so they're always staring at them, asking me if they're real, and so on.
Even as I'm writing this, I'm still thinking about all the other things I hate about myself. It's weird how I always try to negate it.
Well, besides the camper that I need to get back to, my laptop battery's about to die and there's no plug out here. I'm going to run for now, but I do promise that I will be back soon to keep writing. Troy is taking a new job that will put him offshore for 2 weeks at a time, so I think I'll have lots of free time now. :-(
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Interesting, all your comments are about external things like hair and eyes. What about internal things like your brains, your emotions, and your creativity?
ReplyDeleteAnon, I appreciate your outlook. I really hadn't thought about that for 2 reasons: 1) I was in a hurry when I wrote this, and 2) I am fairly insecure about those 3 things. I definitely think my emotions are all effed up! At any rate, thank you for what I took to be a compliment, and thank you for reading and speaking up! I hope you visit again.
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