Chapter Two: Bobby B

My love affair with Bobby had existed pretty much since I began high school. He was the second person I was introduced to at the school and so then it began. We started seeing each other. I was still a virgin and he said he liked it, but he wasn't going to be the first one. "My father always used to say, a girl always falls in love with her first and they'll never get over it, and I believe that. I don't believe in love, though, so I can't be your first," he said. "I'm not seeing anyone else, and I can wait, but if you get the opportunity, take it. I'd love to be able to finally be with you." He was a junior, I was a freshman, and as much as I wanted him to change his mind, he wouldn't. The whole thing was kinda weird, but whatever. It wasn't like I had any better options.

I won't get into the whole thing about how much he taught me - in several arenas - but I learned more about what men like and more about drugs than I ever thought I would.

(by the way, you should always be wary of a teenager that's been given the master bedroom. i've known three of them, and they were always super-fucked up)

We dated for close to the whole school year and then we had that conversation. You know...the one that makes the sky feel as if it's falling into your stomach. He told me that he was interested in another girl and was ready to start having sex again and he didn't want to lie to me. So we broke up. And soon after that was when Emmitt came along. I still saw Bobby at school and we still hung out. We kinda started seeing each other when things with Emily didn't work out so well and they ended it only a month after they got together.

A few weeks into Emmitt, he went away on vacation with his parents for a week. And the day he left, I called Bobby. I didn't even have to tell him why I was calling; he already knew.

I remember the pink hue cast all over his bedroom from the red scarf he'd draped over the lamp. We were tired, worn out, and sweaty. His drapes swished in the breeze of the fan. The smell of incense filled the room as we smoked the cliche after-sex cigarettes. Kate Bush's angelic voice filled our ears, Bobby's hand swirling around on my back to the beat of the music. I felt so secure and so loved, wrapped up in the satin sheets, feather down comforter, and his arms. I stayed late into the night, succumbing to desire time and time again, Bobby attentive to every need and whim I had. I could feel him on my skin and smell him in my hair and when the CD changed and he mumbled softly the lyrics to "Just Like Heaven," I distinctly remember thinking, Yes. JUST like it.

That experience, that feeling...that's what I thought it was all supposed to be about. I knew he wasn't in love with me and I was okay with that. I was getting the best part of him and, much like women feel as if sex is the most precious thing to share with someone, I felt that same thing about what he was giving me: the most precious thing to share with me.

And it wasn't just about sex with us. It wasn't about a relationship, either. He got back with Emily while we were still doing our thing. And, yes, Emmitt came back but I didn't stop seeing Bobby. I did love him, just in a different way. Emmitt...there were no feelings there whatsoever, but he did things for me, so I kept it up. Eventually, Bobby decided to stop seeing me and committed himself to Emily. I was disappointed, but I understood.

But I will never forget the feeling of the carpet burns on my back, rolling around on the floor, drinking screwdrivers made with vodka given to us by his mother, jamming out to Jimi Hendrix before doing it all over again. There are so many things about that time that I don't remember, as well. That's not entirely all his fault, though.

Where is he now?

He ended up marrying Emily when she got pregnant after high school. They moved to Austin. One night when I went to the tattoo shop for some work, he showed up for a piercing. We talked for a very short while and he left. I kinda felt punched in the stomach. Then I heard nothing until about a year ago. He found me on Facebook. He'd divorced Emily - amicable breakup, they just shouldn't have gotten married - and is dating a much younger girl. They seem happy, despite some of the rockiness we talked about and, last I heard, he'd proposed to her. He's working as a mechanic in a dealership and his son is a really, really smart kid and has a killer personality - just like his parents. We spent hours talking and texting, reminiscing about all the good times and fun, and he helped fill in a ton of the blanks from my teenage years I don't remember. He's invited me to come up and spend some time with them, but I'm not really into that idea. We still talk even now, but he hasn't made it down to my part of the state yet. He hates it here - I don't blame him - but when he comes, he promised we'll get together. When we do get together, I'm sure it will be a very interesting evening.

Next up: Chapter 3: Rene, Emmitt's best friend.

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