Desensitized

Well, I don't know if you want to call this a conclusion or not (sorry, 'anonymous,' because i don't think you can collect or pay out your money just yet), but I feel a bit better about things today.

I've continued to talk to Scott and text and send pics back and forth, but the excitement has disappeared. I don't know if it was the idea of starting over somewhere new, or what. I'm guessing it was probably the fact that the weekend was over and I didn't have time to think about it.

There's a big part of me that's been waiting for the punchline. I mean, what woman hasn't dreamed of this situation?! The man who treated her like crap a decade before comes crawling back, begging for her to come back to him, and that he's always loved her and knows how bad he messed up?! I mean, this is movie shit - this stuff doesn't really happen. So...where's the camera?

I've also noticed that he still seems to disappear. He says he's single and only his son lives with him, but I think there's something he's not telling me. So, based on the fact that he's always been a liar and has had no reason to change, I don't see why I should believe him now.

I know it's kinda stupid to let all of this hinge on a bouquet of flowers, but doesn't it also stand to reason that if he really meant all of it, that he would have taken the few hints and actually sent me some? I mean, so far, all I've gotten is a few phone calls, pix messages and an assload of texts. He wants to come down here, but he has to come down anyway to get parts for his Vette company, so it's not like it's a special thing.

It was a novel idea at first, but I guess I just needed to see that - in time - there was nothing but words to convince me. Everyone loves the idea of someone being in love with them, and I guess I just got carried away. That's not to say that I don't wish it were all true. I wish I could just leave everything and go.

But I know what would happen. And I'd lose everything.

So that's where I stand now. The Boy is supposed to be working fewer hours and he has promised to spend more time on us, trying to reconnect and find each other again. Perhaps that will fulfill that need no one has been meeting. Wouldn't it be great if I could just stop running?
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