I Don't Know, Honey...But What Did YOU Do All Day (besides tell fart jokes)?

The Boy managed to piss me off in ways that have yet to be realized in this rather short relationship. We've been together a year and a half, and he has always managed to stop himself before saying the words that equate to a point of no return: "Well...you're home all day. What did you do?!"

Until today.

Yes, I work in the education system. Yes, we have a "summer." So I am, for lack of a better term, 'out of work' right now.

First off, let me say that my paycheck continues to make a bi-monthly appearance. I get paid well, but there's a reason for that: it's hazard pay. My organization deals with the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, the dredges of society. It's hard enough just getting the students to the school, much less teaching them anything. So my "summer" vacation is well-deserved, because of the level of incredibly stressful bullshit I put up with on a daily basis. So it's not like I'm sitting around on my ass, no money coming in, and not doing anything.

Secondly, I have tried desperately to find a second job for quite some time now. I'm even willing to take a near-minimum wage job, just so I can have the extra income I so badly need (remember the dog-needs-surgery post?). I have been told that I am literally overqualified for those positions, nevermind that I'm saying that's okay with me, and that I'm not expecting $40K a year for being a cashier. People don't want to hire a teacher for several reasons, the biggest being that they just assume I'm going to quit when school starts again. Which brings me to my third point.

Thirdly, I don't have a full summer. I have to attend professional development sessions. It's like continuing education. I have meetings and seminars and workshops I have to attend. Some of them are a week in length. Some are only two or three days. But they are scattered throughout the summer vacation and I do not have a choice in attending them. If I fail to accrue enough credits, my certification renewal can be denied. The state can audit my licensing and yank me from certain appointments if I haven't kept up to date. How many jobs - besides working in a bar or club somewhere - will hire me, then let me take what totals 3.5 weeks off within the first 2 months? Because I haven't found any. So no, I don't have a whole summer off, because I have all this other stuff I have to attend.

Back to my first point: I have summers off because of the intensity of my job during the school year. I am verbally abused, threatened, disobeyed, cursed, disrespected, and yelled at - literally every day. The fact that it is allowed to go on is another matter entirely. It is what it is, and that's why I get paid what I get paid, and that's why I have time off. Let me put it to you this way: I don't get to go pee when I want to. Period. I have three times during the day when I can use the bathroom: before classes, during my pittance of a lunch period (15 minutes), and after classes. That's it. I would almost bet money that you'd be hard-pressed to find a person in another profession in that same boat.

So when The Boy comes home after working an 8-hour day, and says something to me about "Why is the sink full of dishes?" and I make a comment about them being all his dishes, because I rinse mine and put them in the dishwasher, and he pops off at the mouth with some asinine, sexist comment about my being home all day, I feel I am perfectly justified in bashing in his skull with the genuine Irish shillelagh his mother just mailed to us from her recent Ireland trip.

The Boy works for an oil drilling company. He builds the tools that are used to drill. He works in a Boys' Club of 6 or 7 guys, all ex-USMC like him, who play around, pull pranks, and generally act like a bunch of 6th graders all day while working. And when he gets home, he takes a 2 or 3 hour nap.

(what do i do when i get home from work? oh, grade papers for 2 or 3 hours.)

All I ask is that he pull his weight. That he clean up after himself, and help me with the utilities and shared housework. He fights me tooth and nail over it, and I'm sick to death of it, so I just went on strike. I'm tired of picking up after 3 dogs, maintaining 6 fish tanks, and cleaning up after myself - I'm not going to do it for him as well.

For God's sake, one of those dogs is his, and it sheds more than my two put together! But who does all the vacuuming, because he can't be bothered to? Who feeds the dogs? Who does his laundry too, because it's more convenient to just bundle up whatever's dirty and make a full load? Who cleaned up the dogshit, day after day, before his dog was diagnosed with what equates to irritable bowel syndrome, just because she got home first?

Like I said, now I am on strike. I refuse to clean up anything that he's left behind. I refuse to clean up his dog's shit which, of course, hasn't been happening, because I've been crating him when I leave and letting him out the instant I return. (it's called 'responsible pet ownership, Boy. you should try it!)

And he wonders why I'm in no kind of hurry to get married.

This Boy seems to be under the impression that he's getting a housewife. Oh, he couldn't be more wrong! I've already told him that traditional gender roles piss me off and I'm not that person. I don't cook, I'm not into childrearing, I don't think pink is pretty, I only own 2 dresses and can't remember the last time I wore one, and that's just who I am.

But I do work my ass off, I do take pride in my work ethic, I can turn a wrench like any man, and I do enjoy my time off - the same as any other person. And he needs to be happy he has a woman that is as independent as I am, who doesn't require a man to guide her and support her.

Anyway, it's not like I tell him to get his bitch-ass in the kitchen and fry me up some chicken every night; only on the ones where he didn't have to work late...